


Self

by hollowkid



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Identity, Identity Issues, Mentioned Stiles Stilinski, Nogitsune Stiles Makes Its Own Identity, Nogitsune Stiles Stilinski, Post-Nogitsune Stiles Stilinski, Self-Discovery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-21
Updated: 2020-09-21
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:42:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26584591
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hollowkid/pseuds/hollowkid
Summary: Self.It is a person's very being, their identity, that distinguishes them from others.Living or dead, supernatural or not, everybody, everyone and everything has a self.Apart from me and my kind.(In which the Nogitsune obtains a self.)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 6





	Self

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time writing a oneshot. I hope it is alright. I'm rather self conscious about how short it is for some reason, but I hope you enjoy it.

Self.

It is a person's very being, their identity, that distinguishes them from others.

Living or dead, supernatural or not, everybody, everyone and everything has a self. 

Apart from me and my kind.

We cannot have a self for we are void of everything other than the insatiable hunger for chaos, strife and pain. 

And yet, when I was possessing innocent Stiles Stilinski, I felt an emotion that no Nogitsune is meant to experience.

Guilt.

Unlike what the humans write in their stories, guilt does not on my chest but rather inside my brain. I cannot undo what I have done. Perhaps I can make amends in subtle ways, but being forgiven is something that I can't ask for. In all of the years I have lived, I have never felt something like this.

Who am I?

I am still Nogitsune, but I am no longer entirely Void. This should be impossible yet, here I am. It is strange in itself that I am asking myself this question - my kind are not supposed to think these kind of thoughts.

Maybe, just maybe, I can have my own self.

And so, I shall make my own identity and have a fresh start. I'm going to choose my own name right now, at this very moment. I instantly rule out Miguel.

Grinning, I go through every single name that I know of. I decide to keep away from Japanese names as I'd like to forget what I used to be, and focus on who I am going to be. 

Nathan. I try it out. I try it out again. Yes, I like it. Nathan. Nate, for short.

For the first time in my existence, I feel a sudden feeling of unexpected contentment swell within me. It almost makes me dizzy.

I have a name. I have an identity that distinguishes myself from others. I'm not Void, I'm not Chaos. I'm Nathan. I feel the rush again and shiver with delight.

Now, I require a new physical form that isn't a copy of my most recent vessel and will not overwhelm me with a crushing sense of guilt each time I look at my own reflection.

Picturing the ideal me in my mind, I get to work, using my magic to create my own unique body. It takes hours, but I eventually finish.

I look at my reflection and see myself staring back.

That's me. That's Nathan.

I have brown, slightly curly hair that gently hangs over my pale face. My wide grey eyes delightfully scan my face. Several freckles are spread gracelessly across my cheeks. I'm grinning ear to ear as I take in every detail.

**Author's Note:**

> As I said at the beginning, this is my first time writing a oneshot. It would be appreciated if you could give me some feedback and criticism!


End file.
